Fall is here and the holidays will be upon us—Halloween and Christmas being my personal favorites.

Navigating co-parenting agreements, your ex, your children, and competing schedules can make even the most level headed person see red.

It is not unusual to have a troubled relationship with an ex-spouse following a divorce. Still, you want to cooperate as best you can with your co-parent to raise your children going forward. Unfortunately, sometimes one parent may feel such anger towards the other that the agitated parent alienates the child from the other parent.

A collaborative marriage dissolution typically begins with two spouses agreeing to negotiate a settlement on their own with the aid of their attorneys. As noted by Kiplinger’s Personal Finance, by conducting the negotiation process out of court, divorcing couples may keep their personal and financial matters private.

A traditional divorce generally requires disclosing income and assets to the court. Rather than share those details in a courtroom setting, soon-to-be ex-spouses may maintain their privacy. Issues contributing to a breakup, for example, may stay out of the court’s database and not become part of a public record.

There are many reasons that a marriage might end, and not all of them end with the divorced couple hating each other. In fact, if you have children with your ex-spouse, being on good terms is beneficial for joint custody. 

If you and your spouse are able to maintain a positive working relationship, “nesting” might be a good post-divorce living situation for your family. According to Psychology Today, nesting involves maintaining a family house while the parents move in and out of the house according to the custody schedule.  

If you recently went through a divorce and suspect that your former partner makes false statements about you towards your children, you could be a victim of parental alienation. 

According to Healthline, parental alienation occurs when one parent uses strategies to create a distance between you and your children. 

Deciding to get a divorce is just the first step in a long process. You want to sit down and figure out how to approach everything else moving forward. But the first thing you should do is figure out how to break the news to your child.

Is there a right way to do it? A way that mitigates the most damage? Or do you just have to test the waters as you go?

Helpful tips and options if you and your ex have disagreements bout parenting time during the holidays.

Interview by Megan Sarnacki, Grand Rapids Magazine, January 1, 2020

When you are a parent, the decision is far more difficult because you know that it will impact those that you love the most — your children.